My Journey
As noted in my greeting, I have always been God-ward. I have attended church forever, it seems. I relied on the church to teach me God’s Truth. I was in a great church for most of my teen years. I felt accepted, participated in the programs and attended faithfully. Adult life begins to take over and there is marriage and children and still very important to me is my Church environment. However, at some point, I began to realize that what I was reading in the Bible wasn’t what I was experiencing. For example, the Word states that miracles, signs and wonders will follow those who believe. So, why wasn’t I seeing this in the Church environment? I knew that I was missing something. As my Spirit continued to be stirred, I began to question the role of Holy Spirit in my life. I know that Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity. But there was this “argument” in the church world as to how “real” or “active” He is in the Christian life. God knew my heart and He was pulling me into a deeper walk with Him. So…..
To get to the meat of my story, I was watching a Christian program one night and the subject was about the role of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer. I listened and wanted to know the answer to the burning argument present in the Church world. So I just prayed something on this line – “Holy Spirit, if you are here and active today and your job is to lead me into Truth, then I am open – Lead me. I was not ready for what I was about to experience.
I didn’t feel anything different at the moment. However, what I experienced very quickly from the “Church” really was not expected. It was like night and day. Suddenly, I am being accused of things I am not doing, lies, gossip is flying, I could walk into a room and upset the whole atmosphere, home life changes and my world is changed forever – some of it challenging but some of it very rewarding. The “world” was kinder and more loving to me than the Church. This is not supposed to be!
It has taken me years to get to where I am today as it relates to my understanding of God’s Kingdom – and it will continue to unfold for me as I open up my heart to being led and taught by Holy Spirit – the key to “knowing” God as opposed to knowing “about” Him. Keep in mind that we all have our own processes. We have all experienced “life” and hurts in different ways and degrees. This makes our journeys different. However, we will all end up at the same point in time as it relates to the character and nature of God as we allow Him to lead and reveal Himself to us.
So, where am I today? Today I have a revelation and a knowing that 1) God Loves Me. I don’t have to work to get Him to love me. My experiences in life and church were always screaming to me a different message. I know now that I don’t have to follow a set of steps, rules, regulations, or formulas laid down by church or otherwise to be deserving of His love. He created Me and You as an object of His love. He desires to fellowship with us every day/all day. But He is also loving enough that He allows us to choose whether we want this relationship with Him. I have a revelation and a knowing that 2) I can trust Him. This is a premise to being in relationship with Him. How can we trust someone we don’t believe loves us? God is only Love. He created us for dominion and blessings. I feel (no, I know) that we blame God for so many things that He is not guilty of. And much of this teaching is coming from the “Church”. 3) Because I can trust Him, I can believe what His Word says, regardless of what I see around me. God is not a man that He could lie. Now, satan is the father of ALL lies. That leaves no room for not believing what God has spoken in His Word. I have settled this in my mind and I “push” for it every day. It is a process and it is dying to the ways of the world, but it is worth it. 4) Because I can believe what He says, I can develop my faith. God’s system works by faith. Without it, He states that we can’t please Him. His Kingdom does not work without faith. We have to believe Him. There is no grey area. No decision is “really” a decision against a personal and intimate relationship with our Creator. Are we going to believe Him or the world (satan)?
God is GOOD and will always be Good. He is not our enemy. Deception in this world has led us to believe otherwise. There is healing in knowing the nature and character of God. The Ten Commandments were given as “Words” to save us pain and heartache. They all have to do with relationship between God and each other. Think about it – every time you or I make a decision, it most likely affects another person/relationship whether good or bad; the end result being either loving or hurtful. Actions affect relationships. God is all about relationship. This will never change.
I am being led to give away what God has placed in me (Give and it shall be given back). With this blog, I am putting my faith into action. So, here we go!